HELL YEAH or FU*K NO, my inner guidance to make conscious choices

Valérie Djoumessi
Dec 5, 2021
3 min read

First things first, I am a Libra. The sign that, according to me, justifies the majority of my indecisions, my ultimate will to always find balance and my tendency to rarely take sides (because in my reality, everyone is always a little bit right)

Let me tell you that I can definately feel the 60,000 to 70,000 thoughts* that go through my head every day. It's no joke!

Should I listen to this podcast for knowledge or this music to relax?

Should I wear this sweater that ruins my flow but is comfortable or this sexy outfit that's a little tight on my butt?

Do I go in or should I go out?

Existential questions right ?

So I know you're not necessarily a Libra (and that's ok, nobody is perfect), but a little voice tells me that sometimes it's also hard for you to make decisions without doubting or questionning yourself for hours

For some time now, I've been trying a ritual that has helped me a lot so far.

I ask myself the following question as honestly as possible.

Does this situation/person/project/trip/meal represent a HELL YEAH ?

If the answer to this question is YES, then I go for it, I go for it and I consider this answer to be the right one for me at this moment in my life.

If on the other hand, the answer is NO. Then I consciously choose not to follow through and go my own way.

Easier said than done...

I grant you, accepting to make your own decisions when you are used to let yourself be carried along by life, by the opinions of others and the fear of being judged, is not always easy at first.

But life is too short to spend your time living it under the constraint

It's too short to continually micro-betray yourself by doing things that deeply piss you off.

In a world that sometimes seems to have no meaning anymore, this HEEL YES has become my compass. It is my guarantee that I'll never be wrong, not because I think I'm always right (although, maybe ;D) but because when I take the time to listen to myself, to pay attention to this intimate and powerful voice within that knows what's right for me at that moment, I'm on the right path.

In the beginning was fear

In the beginning, I didn't even dare to ask myself the question because I was way to afraid of the answers that might surface. I didn't want to see that there were far too many things in my life that I did by mimicry, by habit, not to displease and not to say no.

The first NOs were difficult. I felt guilty, doubted, rationalized. I was afraid of being rejected, of not being loved, of missing out on opportunities.

And then I realized that the world didn't stop spinning, that life went on and the next opportunity presented itself.

As time went on, I strengthened that NO and it made my HELL YES even more valuable.

If there's one habit that deserves to die in 2021, it's this one.

The one that consists of betraying myself a little bit every time I'm not 100% aligned with a choice. The one that often makes me settle for less.

The one that is not in line with my willingness to love myself hard, unconditionally and most of all to be my biggest supporter.

For some time now, I dare to ask myself this question and accept the answer.

This project that seems great but that will bring me stress because the deadlines are too short becomes a NO

That invitation to go out with friends that I love deeply when I am physically and emotionally tired becomes a NO

That client who doesn't match my values and leaves me with a bitter taste in every interaction becomes a NO

That man who seems to be great but is not "perfect" for me becomes a NO

And that's how I started to clean up my life. It is with this simple question (with a sometimes difficult answers) that I dared to reorient my projects so that they are aligned with who I want to be (and who I say I want to be). It is thanks to these few words that I finally dare to share my voice and be a full actor of my life. I am the one who chooses for me. I create the reality that soothes me and allows me to give much more serenely to the world.